


Sugar Spun Dreams

by snarkasaurus



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Crossover Pairings, Incest, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-04
Updated: 2013-07-04
Packaged: 2017-12-17 16:28:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/869601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snarkasaurus/pseuds/snarkasaurus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Kili are amazing bakers, Fili is God of the Coffee Bar, and Derek Hale is a fucking idiot. Or, the crossover Bakery AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sugar Spun Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> This is...remarkably self-indulgent. Like. Really self indulgent. We saw [this video](http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=X7uo6qHKqHE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DX7uo6qHKqHE) and decided that Stiles and Kili would totally be this joyful and competant when it came to their baking. And. Well. This was born. Do we know where this is going? Sort of. Do we care? Nope!

Kili was just putting the finishing touches on a batch of cinnamon rolls when he felt arms slipping around his waist. He leaned back against Fili as he finished the icing and reached back, letting Fili suck the remaining sugar from his fingers.

“Morning,” Kili said.

“Can I just say that I hate when you’re the opening baker?” Fili said. “Four am is horrible.”

“Especially when you keep me up all night,” Kili said.

“Can you _not_ get your incesty sex pheromones all over my cinnamon rolls, thank you very much!” Stiles said as he carried over another hot tray of rolls.

Kili grinned at him. “What, like your unrequited lust ones are so much better?” he asked. 

Stiles sniffed and grabbed the bowl of icing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, and started slathering the hot rolls. 

Fili chuckled and pulled Kili back a step or two before spinning him and stealing a kiss. “I’ve got a latte with your name on it,” he said, nibbling Kili’s lower lip. “Want it?” 

Kili groaned. “Hazelnut?” 

“Of course.”

“Gimme.”

Fili grinned and pulled Kili out of the kitchen, to the coffee bar. In a paper cup, with ‘Kili” scrawled across the side, stood a steaming latte. Kili made grabby hands for it, and grinned when he saw the foam on top. “Awwww, you drew me a picture!” 

Fili shrugged, but his cheeks were a little pink. “Well. Yeah?” 

Floating in the foam was a little bear. 

Kili smiled and leaned in to kiss him. Stiles made a retching sound and Fili grinned.

“I have to get back up front and get the rest of the pots set up,” Fili said. “Save a roll for me?”

“I’ve got lemon poppy muffins in the oven,” Kili said.

“You know me so well,” Fili laughed, kissing Kili’s cheek and grabbing a handful of flour to throw at Stiles on his way out.

“Your brother’s a dick,” Stiles said, brushing the flour from his hair. 

“Yeah, but I like his dick,” Kili said. “About as much as you want to have Derek’s dick up your ass.”

“I’d rather be up his,” Stiles said as he slathered icing all over the rolls.

“Then why don’t you tell him?” Kili asked. He grabbed a holder and pulled out the muffins. “Looks like the next tray of rolls is almost done. Do we need more icing?”

Stiles looked at the bowl. “Yeah, I think so. You wanna put some on the muffins?”

“I figured put some on half the batch,” Kili said. “They sell pretty well. You gonna tell me why you haven’t made a move on Derek’s very fine ass?”

“Why’re you looking at someone else’s ass when you have Fili?” Stiles asked.

“I’m allowed to look,” Kili said with a smug smile, grabbing another spoon and drizzling icing on six of the muffins.

Stiles rolled his eyes. “You’re sickening,” he mumbled. He grabbed the ingredients out of the cooler for another batch of icing, lining them up on the counter next to the mixer. “As for why....the asshole barely recognizes I’m alive. Your uncle’s the one that hired me, and only because you begged him.” 

Kili stopped, spoon hanging above the bowl. “Excuse me?”

Stiles glanced at him, and went back to weighing out powdered sugar. “He only hired me because you begged him to, and you know it. There’s no reason anyone should have hired someone like me for their bakery.” 

Kili let his spoon drop, ignoring the clatter it made. “You idiot. Is that what you think? I asked Uncle Thorin to interview you, yes, but you _knew that_. You got the damned job all on your own merits, and because of those fucking cheddar bacon scones you make.” 

“You’re full of shit. I barely made it out of pastry school alive--” Stiles started to say, but Kili cut him off. 

“That’s because Harris is an asshole, and did everything in his power to make you fail. No one who’s actually tried anything you make believes shit about him, and you’re an idiot if you think they do.” Kili picked up the spoon again, glaring at the muffins. 

The two worked in silence as they finished getting the morning pastries finished and properly displayed in the front cases. Kili started baking the egg soufflés and Stiles made the scones when Derek walked in. Kili was just loading his tray in when he saw him and smiled in greeting before closing the oven and going to harass Fili at the coffee counter.

Stiles looked up and then went back to his scones, forming them into perfect triangles and setting them on the parchment paper. “Mr. Hale,” he said. “How can I help you?”

Derek walked around the kitchen, picking up a cinnamon rolls and pulling it apart. “You make the cupcakes for the bakery, right?”

“Me and Kili split it but I made them this week,” Stiles said, startled. This was probably the first the man had ever spoken to him.

“Would you mind making six dozen of them today? Laura’s bridal shower is this afternoon and she said she wanted your cupcakes.”

Stiles stared, his jaw almost dropping. “Y-yeah, sure. I can do that. What kind does she want?”

“How the hell should I know?” Derek asked, scowling. “Just, make something.” He shoved his hands in his pockets and left the kitchen. 

Stiles was still blinking when Kili came back in. “The hell was that all about?’ Kili asked, leaning against the work table and sipping his latte. 

“I need to make six dozen cupcakes for Laura’s bridal shower,” Stiles said faintly. “This afternoon.”

Kili groaned. “Seriously?” He glanced around the kitchen, taking in the racks of donuts, cupcakes, muffins, scones, and everything else. “Well...we’re nearly done?” 

“Yeah, but...” Stiles flailed abortively, mindful of the pastry scraper in his hand. It may not be sharp in the sense a chef’s knife was sharp, but it could still do some damage. “Derek Hale. Spoke to me.”

Kili paused in the act of putting down his latte to grab the muffin pans. “And you didn’t die of a heart attack? How very forward of you.” 

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Asshole.” 

“Do you know what kind she wants?” Kili asked as he checked on the soufflés. 

Stiles stared and flapped his hands. “No, oh my god, I don’t know what she’d want! What if I make the wrong ones and she hates them? Oh god, what if that gets me fired?”

Kili rolled his eyes and grabbed his phone. “Chill out, man. I’ll call and ask.”

Stiles made a lunge for Kili but scrambled back when the buzzer for the scones sounded. Kili hopped up on a clean counter and dialed Laura’s cell.

“Hey Kili, what’s up?” Laura asked.

“Stiles wants to know what kind of cupcakes you want for the shower,” Kili said. “Derek just told us you needed them.”

“What?” Laura asked. “I’ve got a cake coming, why would...? Hold on, is he making you or Stiles make them?”

“He asked Stiles,” Kili said, watching his friend hurry around the kitchen with his scones.

“Oh for...” Laura said with a sigh. “Okay. How many did Derek say?”

“Six dozen,” Kili said.

“Let’s see, how about we do...two dozen lemonade cupcakes, two dozen of those cream filled things he makes, and two dozen orange creme ones with those candied oranges?” Laura asked.

Kili grabbed a piece of paper and scribbled down what Laura said. “Okay, when’s the shower?”

“Starts at four,” Laura said. “That’ll give you enough time, right?”

“Should,” Kili said. “Thanks, Laura.”

Stiles finished transferring his scones off the trays and onto the racks, tossing the trays onto the stacks and crumpling the paper up to be thrown away. “So what does she want?” he asked. 

Kili grinned at him. “She asked for two dozen each of the lemonade, orange cream, and your special cream filled ones.” He waited to see if Stiles had registered any of the conversation enough to ask questions about it. 

“Okay,” Stiles said, frowning in concentration. “Okay. I can do that. I can do that easy.” 

Kili snickered. “Stiles?” 

“Yeah?” Stiles was already at the cooler, rummaging for ingredients. 

“She didn’t know.” 

It took a minute, but Stiles’ head popped out of the refrigerator, and he stared at Kili. “She what?”

“She didn’t know.” Kili was enjoying this. “Which means...”

Stiles stared at him. “No.”

“Yes,” Kili said with big smile.

“No,” Stiles said again, shaking his head.

“Yes!” Kili laughed.

“Oh god, NO!” Stiles shouted, hands going to his face. “Oh crap, oh crap.”

“What’re you two shouting about?” Fili asked, coming in as he dried his hands on a towel.

Kili hopped off the counter and jumped on Fili’s back. “Derek just used his sister as an excuse to get six dozen cupcakes outta Stiles!”

Fili hooked his hands under Kili’s thighs and grinned. “Did he really?” 

Stiles moaned. 

Kili cackled. “Derek and Stiles, sitting in a tree!” 

Fili joined in. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”

“I hate you both,” Stiles said, his cheeks burning red. 

Fili carried Kili over to Stiles, and let him pulled Stiles against them both for a hug. “You don’t hate us,” Fili said. “You hate Derek for not actually saying anything and letting you kiss him and tap that gorgeous ass.”

“What is with you two and noticing other people’s asses? You’re fucking each other in your creepy incestuous relationship! You’re not suppose to comment on other people’s asses!”

“Why not?” Kili asked from over Fili’s shoulder. “Looking is fun!”

“There’s nothing wrong with looking,” Fili agreed. “It’s even fun sometimes.”

Kili kissed Stiles from where he was and ruffled his hair. “We like your ass. It’s nice. It’s no wonder Derek likes it.”

“Don’t look at my ass, that’s creepy!” Stiles said.

“I don’t think that means what you think it means,” Kili said. He kissed Fili’s neck and let go, sliding off his back. “C’mon. You’ve got cupcakes to make for your future husband.”

“I hate you so much.”

::::

Stiles looked at the finished boxes of cupcakes, pleased. They were probably some of the prettiest cupcakes he’d ever done. The lemonade cupcakes had a dusting of lemon sugar over the tart lemon frosting, which contrasted perfectly with the tender lemon cake. The orange cream ones had tiny curls of candied orange peel across the tops, which had been hell to keep Fili out of. Who knew he’d loved them so much? 

His favorites, though... Stiles glanced to the side, where a little tray of four extra cupcakes sat. He grinned and picked one up, slowly peeling the paper off the cupcake. Rich chocolate cake, with a caramel cream filling and icing on the top. He took a bite, and moaned softly. God, they were so good. 

He had just finished the cupcake and was licking his fingers clean when Derek walked in. Stiles looked at him around his finger, freezing, and stared as Derek froze. Stiles swallowed and pulled his fingers out and pointed to the boxes. 

“They’re all set,” he said, licking his lips. “Do you need any help getting them to the shower?”

“No, I’m good,” Derek said. He looked at all the boxes and sighed. “I could use some help getting them into the car, though.”

Stiles nodded and threw the cupcake wrapper in the trash and grabbed a stack of boxes carefully. “After you,” he said to Derek.

Derek picked up the rest of the boxes, and headed out the door, trying not to think about Stiles being right behind him. He set the boxes down on the seat of his car, and stood back for Stiles to do the same. 

Stiles snapped his eyes up just in time, so that he didn’t get caught staring at Derek’s ass. “So there’s two dozen lemonade, two dozen orange cream, and two dozen of the chocolate caramel cream,” he said, crouching down to put his boxes on the floorboard. 

“Thanks,” Derek said, and then paused. “Wait, how did you decide what flavors to make?” 

Stiles turned and looked up at Derek, still crouching in the open door of the car. “Kili called Laura.” 

“He did?” Derek asked, rubbing the back of his neck. This was not good.

Stiles nodded. “Laura didn’t know. Kili said that she already has a cake.”

“It’s a crap cake,” Derek said. “We make the best pastries. It was offensive.”

Stiles felt like he’d been doused in cold water. “Ah. Well. I hope she enjoys them.” he stood and slammed the car door. “Drive slowly and avoid bumps,” he said, not looking at Derek. 

Derek winced and let him go before getting in the car and gripping the steering wheel tight before starting the car and driving off.

:::

Kili walked into the kitchen to find Stiles solidly flinging enough dough to keep the bakery stocked in bread for the next three days. Stiles was angry, red faced with his teeth grit, kneading the dough like he wanted to kill it. Kili backed away from the kitchen and waved Fili over.

“We need to get him unangry,” Kili said.

Fili tugged Kili in close and kissed his cheek. “Trust me?”

“Always,” Kili said. 

Fili went into the kitchen and waited for Stiles to take a step back from the dough before snagging him by the waist and pulling him in for a kiss. His hand went around the back of Stiles’ neck and kept him there as he kissed him, slowly coaxing Stiles into responding.

Kili watched with amused amazement as Fili actually managed to get Stiles to respond. It took a while, and every one of Fili’s tricks--Kili saw his favorite tongue flicker, and grinned when Stiles moaned--but Stiles eventually relaxed and swayed into Fili. 

When Fili finally raised his head, Stiles blinked dazedly up at him. “Uh?” he said intelligently. 

“You were beating the dough to inedible toughness,” Kili said, coming up and nuzzling Stiles’ neck. “Wanna talk about it?” 

Stiles grit his teeth. “No.” 

“Hey now,” Fili said, gently massaging the back of Stiles head, where his hand still rested. “Calm down, or I’ll have to kiss you again.”

Stiles blinked at him. “I’m not sure that’s discouraging.”

Kili smiled and rubbed his hands over Stiles’ shoulders. “Since you don’t want to talk about it, how about we take off and see if we can distract you from all that unhealthy anger?” he asked. “Lydia and Allison are up at the counter and we have enough stuff for the morning rush. Isaac will be in to take care of lunch and we’ll be fine.”

Fili smiled at Kili and leaned in to kiss Stiles gently, just a quick peck on the lips. “We’ll help you calm down or exhaust you to the point where you don’t have a choice.”

Stiles looked at the dough sitting around him. “But...” 

Kili raised his eyebrow. “Most of this...no, all of this, is still pre-first proof, yes?” he asked. At Stiles’ nod, he jerked his head toward the big walk in cooler and the freezer. “Dump it in there. It’ll be fine. None of the breads you mixed up will be any the worse for freezing.” 

Stiles flushed again. “I wanted stuff that could hold up to me taking my anger out on it. If I’d done baguettes...” 

Kili grinned. “Baseball bats. C’mon, let’s get this stuff all put away.” In relatively short order, what wasn’t already kneaded, formed, and proofing, was put into storage containers and stashed in either the freezer or the cooler, depending on what it was. Stiles called Isaac and asked him to come in a little early to finish off the loaves he’d done already, washed his hands, and took off his apron. 

Kili hooked an arm around his waist while Fili hooked one around his neck. “C’mon, Stiles. Time to get you insensate enough you’ll tell me your real name.” 

“Never gonna happen, Durin.”

:::

Fili lit a cigarette and smiled down at Kili and Stiles, both who were looking wrecked and panting. He took a long drag and leaned over to kiss Kili, sharing the smoke with him. Kili took a deep breath and blew out the smoke with a lazy smile.

"That's hot," Stiles said.

Kili took the cigarette from Fili and took his own drag as Fili leaned over and kissed his way around Stiles’ chest, connecting mole to mole with his tongue. Stiles groaned, a hand weakly flailed against him before giving in and settling on Fili's neck.

Kili stretched out next to Stiles and kissed him lazily as the cigarette burned low. Fili pulled away from Stiles with a small laugh.

"You're trying so hard," Fili said as he wrapped his hand around Stiles’ flaccid cock. It twitched slightly as Fili touched it but remained soft.

"You two are impossible," Stiles said. "How does anyone keep up with you?"

"They don't," Kili said, kissing Stiles before crawling into Fili's lap. He nuzzled his brother affectionately and rested against him, just as exhausted as Stiles was. "Which was the whole point of this, yeah?"

Stiles' eyes drifted closed. "Yeah. Make me forget why I was so mad." He sounded sad now, like his anger had shifted. 

Fili slowly stroked his fingers through Stiles’ hair. "What did he say that upset you so much?" He felt Kili twitch, and wasn't sure if it was because he hasn't figured it out yet--unlikely--or because he wasn't sure it was a good idea to bring it up. 

"That he asked because the cake she had ordered was going to be awful," Stiles said. 

Kili hissed. "Is he really that much of an idiot?" He muttered, adding his hands to Fili's to pet Stiles. 

Fili kissed Kili's cheek and nudged him out of his lap and toward Stiles. Kili glanced at him before crawling over Stiles, kissing him as he laid on him. Fili got off the bed and tried to find his cell in the mess of clothes on the floor. He snagged it and watched with a smile as Kili mussed Stiles and made him looked debauched and wrecked.

Kili gave a low whistle and, with a last kiss, backed away from Stiles. Fili took a picture while Stiles was still dazed and sent it to Derek. //you need to stop fucking up or I'm keeping this// he sent. 

:::

Derek looked down at his phone when it beeped, and froze. He slowly opened the picture. Stiles looked...wrecked. Well fucked, mussed, sated. His lips were kiss swollen and bitten red. There was a faint trail of bites across his torso. 

"Oh god," he croaked, mouth and throat suddenly dry. He quickly tapped a response. //you fucked him?!//

The swift response made him jolt. //yes. Because he's hot and also because he was devastated. Can't treat him like this. You'll lose him.// Derek studied the picture more while he thought about that. Stiles leg was cocked just enough that Derek couldn't see much but a trail of dark hair, the start of curls, and the base of a cock before thigh took over the view. It was enough to make him growl, though, and shift. Stiles look completely debauched, and it killed Derek that he hasn't been the one to do that. 

//he'd be better off if you kept him// he typed slowly. 

//you fucking asshole, he's IN. LOVE. with you. Trust him enough to let him know what he wants//

Derek scrubbed his hand over his face. Fuck. 

::::

Stiles rolled over and snuggled into the bed. "Fili, why do you look so pissed off all the sudden?"

"Derek is an idiotic asshat," Fili said.

Kili climbed over Stiles to straddle Fili. He took the phone from his brother and scrolled through the texts. "Yeah, wow, he is an asshat," Kili said. He leaned down to kiss Fili and tossed the phone on the floor. "We'll convince him otherwise."

Stiles groaned and buried his face in the pillow. "I give up. I can't do this to myself anymore. He's horrible and foul and a nice ass does not mean he's going to stop being a beast."

Kili looked down at Fili and frowned, leaning down with his hands on his chest to kiss him. "We'll figure it out," Kili murmured against his lips.

“I don’t want to,” Stiles said. “I’m. I’m done, I’m sorry.” He rolled and sat up. He rubbed his hands over his face, up into his hair. “I can’t do this. I can’t sit here and wait for him to pull his head out of his ass. I’m better than that.” He stood and went to the pile of clothes, digging for his own. 

“Stiles,” Fili said. “He’ll figure it out. He knows he loves you, he just doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.” He tumbled Kili onto the bed, and sat up. “Don’t give up on him.” 

Stiles pulled his jeans up and buttoned them. “What do you want me to do? Wait for him forever, and put up with years of being ignored, condescended to, and generally treated like I’m worthless?” he asked, turning to face the pair. “I’m better than that. So, thank you, but no thanks. Call me if you wanna do this again, I had a blast.” He grabbed his shirt, and headed for the door. 

Kili looked up at Fili from his spot on the bed. "That went well," he said with a sigh. 

Fili flopped down next to him and tugged Kili close. "Okay, how do we fix this?"

"Lock them in a closet," Kili said promptly, running his hand through Fili's chest hair.

"Trite," Fili said. "Neither of them would fall for it."

"Orgy?" Kili suggested.

Fili snorted, leaning over and ruffling Kili's hair. "We need to do what's best for them, not what would make you happy. Jeez, how'd I end up with such a cockslut for a brother?"

"You love it," Kili said. "Only a cockslut could keep up with you."

Fili kissed him and tugged him closer. "Orgy wouldn't work."

"Okay," Kili said. "Do you have any bright ideas? Derek's your friend after all."

Fili thought about it for a while, stroking Kili’s back. “First thing we need to do is give Stiles some time, let him regain his footing. Derek really fucking hurt him. The idiot. He was only trying to keep from--”

“Getting hurt if Stiles didn’t want him? Yeah, I know. And instead, wound up hurting stiles enough that he’s done. Stiles is _my_ best friend, and if we don’t think of something that won’t hurt him, I’m not doing it.” Kili sat up. “I want to fix it. I want them to be together. I think they’d be good for each other. But I won’t do it at the expense of Stiles.” 

“I wouldn’t ask you to,” Fili said quietly. “We’ve got time. Let’s think about it? Let Stiles heal a little, like you said, and come up with something for him that... well. That’ll get him that ass to tap.” 

:::

Stiles had been thinking hard all week, trying to get his head on straight. Every time he let himself think about Derek he yanked his mind away from his ass or abs or that smile or any of the millions of ridiculous and annoying attractive things about Derek and tried to focus on something, someone, else.

Stiles found himself, though, that by ignoring Derek he was noticing other people. He was noticing, for example, the curve of Kili's wrist or the way his hair stuck to his forehead and neck when it got hot in the kitchen. It made Stiles remember that he'd seen the way Kili's hair stuck to him in bed, the curl of---nope, nope. Bad Stiles. This is your friend, no sex thoughts. Especially because said friend was very much attached to his equally attractive brother.

Who could do amazing things with his mouth.

Stiles left the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water on his way, and went out back. He was trying very hard to cool off--in more ways than one--when Kili came out back. He shucked his shirt as he came out, showing off all that tanned skin and muscle and ink, a cigarette held between his lips.

Kili raised an eyebrow at Stiles when he glared at Kili. “What’d I do?” 

“You with your stupid gorgeous body and ink and your stupid smart mouth and your stupid brother. You’re hot and you’re stupid. That’s what you did,” Stiles said, without any heat, and took another hit from his water bottle. 

Kili leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest, cigarette held casually in his fingers. “SO you think I’m gorgeous, is that it?” 

Stiles rolled his eyes. “Asshole.”

“You love me,” Kili grinned. “Y’know, we wouldn’t have taken you to bed with us, if we didn’t think you were gorgeous, too.” He inhaled slowly, watching Stiles. 

Stiles upended his water, guzzling the last of it. “Yeah? Well, that’s good to know.

Kili grinned again. “You’re welcome back, if you want to. Fili and I talked about it.” 

Stiles stared at him. “You didn’t,” he muttered. “Oh my god, you both totally did, why would you...” 

Kili flicked ash from the end of the cigarette. “Because you’re hot and we want you, of course.” 

Stiles shook his head and looked away for a long moment. Kili couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but instinct told him that if he waited, he would find out. He slowly smoked his way through the minutes, ashing out the butt in the container at the very end. Stiles still hadn’t moved or said anything, so he let it go for now. “See you inside,” he said, and turned to go in. 

Next thing he knew, he was being crowded back against the wall, with Stiles’ mouth on his, kissing him deep and needy. Kili might have made a highly undignified squeak of surprise but he pulled Stiles closer by his T-shirt and kissed him back hungrily. He loved that he and Stiles were the same height, perfect for this even with Stiles pinning him to the wall.

Kili nibbled on Stiles’ lip, groaning softly as Stiles pushed his thigh between Kili's legs. This was wonderful but so incredibly bad at the same time. They were at work and there were things in the oven and ohgod that felt good. Kili let his head fall back against the wall and panted.

Stiles stared at him for a moment before pulling away and going back into the kitchen. Kili stared after him and looked down his tented cargo shorts. That was beyond unfair. He followed Stiles back into the kitchen, taking the opportunity to readjust his pants and pull his shirt back on before he went to wash his hands. 

“So are we going to do this?” he asked when Stiles showed no signs of talking about what just happened. “And by doing this, I mean have some fun.”

Stiles slid the wide paddle into the oven and deftly flipped some bread out and onto the cooling rack. He repeated the motion, taking solace in the repetitive action. “Are we? I mean. Creepy incest part aside, you’re in a committed, steady relationship.” 

Kili snorted, switching out the racks as soon as Stiles had filled one, and wheeling it toward the cooling area. “Yeah, and? Fili’s the one that had the idea to take you to bed in the first place. We come as a package deal, but we will come.” He deliberately leered and wiggled his eyebrows. 

“The two of you are horrible,” Stiles said with a sigh. “Does he know about...?” Stiles waved a hand around him and Kili.

“About the kitchen?” Kili asked with a raised brow and a smile. “Yeaaaah, he works on the other side of it.”

“Asshole,” Stiles said as he continued to shelve the bread.

Kili left Stiles to it for a moment, popping into the actual part of the cafe and snagging Fili’s sleeve and dragging him into the kitchen. “Fili,” he said, once he was sure Stiles could both see and hear him. “Stiles pushed me up against the wall and made out with me.”

“Really,” Fili said, grinning. He leaned against Kili. “Can you show me what he did? I’d love a demonstration of it, first hand.”

“I hate you both,” Stiles said with a sigh.

Kili turned and pushed Fili up against one of the closed stoves, kissing him and shoving his thigh between his legs...exactly like Stiles had done not too long ago. 

Fili groaned and reacted to the pressure and the kissing, and the audience. “Just like that?” he asked when Kili stepped away. 

“Just like that. And then he asked me if we let people into our creepy incest relationship.” Kili grinned. 

Fili raised his eyebrows, and then stalked toward Stiles, crowding him against the wall, too. “Why are you so damned tall,” he groused, and pulled Stiles’ head down to kiss him. 

Kili laughed. “Poor Fee, surrounded by tall people he can boss around and fuck stupid.”

Fili grinned against Stiles’ mouth and looked over his shoulder at Kili and then back at Stiles. “You know, if you’re in for this whole thing then that means I have an ally now.”

“Ally?” Stiles asked, licking his lips.

“Yep,” Fili drawled, reaching up to rub his thumb along Stiles’ bottom lip. “You can help me against Kili and his ridiculously smart mouth. I think he needs to put it to better use, don’t you?”

Stiles blinked. “Yes. I totally can. But then I can use _my_ smart mouth to drive you nuts.” He dipped his head and caught Fili’s thumb between his teeth, sucking on the tip for a moment before letting it go. “So...really, just trading one smart ass for another.” 

Kili snickered. 

Fili rolled his eyes. “Then I’ll just put both your mouths to work, and reap the benefits.” He leaned in again for another kiss. “No loss there, to be sure.” 

Kili slid in from the side, and nuzzled Stiles’ throat. “So, does this answer your question, Stilinski?”

“All but one,” Stiles mumbled.

“One?”

“When is quitting time? I need to get fucked.”


End file.
